Is It Possible to Have a Successful, Long-Term Open Relationship? - Nicoletta von Heidegger
Is it possible to have a long-term successful open-relationship? After all, we don’t normally see them in the media and most couples are private about them. Von Heidegger spoke to the concerns of a happily single participant who generally didn’t like commitment, but was interested in the idea of an open relationship.*
I think it depends how you define a relationship — that can mean so many different things. If by “open” you mean that you can have sex with whoever you want, I know lots of people who have that arrangement and it works for them. They’re able to have freedom and autonomy to hook up with whoever they want. That being said, I personally think that any type of relationship requires some kind of commitment. And I don’t mean monogamous commitment, but I mean a willingness and an energy to care about the other person, to talk about their needs to have conversations about it.
You may have long-term hookup buddies and that may be enough for you and there may be people out there who aren’t willing to do this with you. So I do think it’s definitely possible — but I also think, if this is working for you, what makes you want to have a long-term relationship? Or what makes you think that the open relationships you’ve had are not successful? Are you being impacted by feeling like it’s bad to be this way? Do you think that you’re supposed to have a committed relationship? Because if it’s working for you and this is feeling okay, that sounds great. I’m glad that you found a way to be authentically yourself and not feel tied down. And I do think any relationship worth having does require work. And that can be for monogamous, non-monogamous, whatever. So it may not be so easy just to come and go. Some people find that lonely, but if it works for you, then great. Go for it.
*Transcription edited and condensed for space and clarity. For full answer, watch the full video
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